There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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