This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
