Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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