You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
