I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
