I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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