her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
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