Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
