I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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