Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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