Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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