so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
