i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
