is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
