Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
