I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
