Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
