we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
