Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
