Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
