Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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