Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
