he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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