I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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