So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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