I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
