I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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