umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
