So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
