first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize