Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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