Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
