He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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