I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize