My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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