remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
