Ambien. No doubt about it.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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