I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize