Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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