Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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