Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
