I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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