I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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