I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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