How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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