Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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