Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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