She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
