Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
