I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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