Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
