Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
