I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
