Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize