The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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