11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
