you didnt know i had herpes?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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