dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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