Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
