I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So vagazzling was a success
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
